The Good the Bad and the Ugly!

Although I did my good deed for the day, I would rather mention the good deed that was done for me today by my sister. I will call her Erica to protect her Identity. To me this is worth mentioning more than anything that happened to me today. Let me explain...

This blog site has a tool for you to utilize the social networking sites to expand your visibility. Which is great because I am using this exercise to be more open. However, as I've mentioned before, I like my privacy. It took me a while to convince myself to use my real picture. As I esperimented with the links to post my site up, I cliked on Facebook. As I clicked away, it automatically posted my blog on Facebook. When it did that, I freaked out and jumped out of my bed! I thought, Oh no, now everyone will know! I automatically wanted to take it back down. I am too exposed to my friends and family, I thought. It's okay for me to discusss this with strangers with a unknown name but not my close people. I immediately called my sister because I need a calming voice. In the back of my mind, I knew that I had to learn how to be ok with this. What came out for me is that I don't like being in a position where I can be judge by the people I care for most. You see. I was the black sheep of the family, the one that like to live on the edge and pushed my limits. My goodness, I remember all of the adults talking about how difficult I was. Well, I am now 32 years old still working on proving to them that I am a good person with good intentions. I realize now I really need to stop that and I am working on it. I am not bad but inherantly good! I do have a moral compass, I just have to get rid of those self defeating beliefs that stuck with me growing up!

The reason why I want to mention this as a good deed is because when I freaked out when my blog posted on Facebook for all my family and friends to see, I called my sister instead. Because I know she understands me. She saw me through the bad and the good. She was shocked to hear of my anxiety and she reassured me. I love her for being there for me. Sometimes we take people who are close to us for granted. At the end of the day, they are who matter most. Thank you sis!

And as far as the facebook world is concerned, as freaked out as I was, I'm going to break through! I hope you'll love me even through the good, the bad and the ugly!

With much love,
Millie