Perfect Timing!

In the midst of last week's chaos, I receive a message from a friend of mine who had no clue what I was going through (read my previous posting) to tell me that there is a major event in my area that I needed to attend. Reluctant to call him back because of my pathetic state of mind I did anyway. Thank God I did because it was Divine intervention.

After a couple referred phone calls to his friend and his friend's friend, I receive 2 tickets in the mail from the host of the event himself. A couple of days later I get a phone call from my dear friend Patty asking me to meet for coffee the next day. And in my meeting with her, she commented on how positive my outlook is in light of everything that had happened in my previous week. I agreed. I then mentioned that I have an event to attend but I'm not sure if I'm going. She encourage to go and she offered to go with me. She said that she wouldn't let me stay home in my pity party anyway (not in her own words).

And let me just say, what a show! The line up of celebrity entrepreneur speakers that spoke was amazing. I had about a gazillion "aha" moments. As if God was speaking to me again and again. It was perfect timing too because I was on the verge of seriously considering giving up on my company/dream and take the easy way out. I gave myself that week to decide whether I should move forward or give up. Well, I'm not giving up. I want to know what it feels like to have a success story. I want to know what if feels like to say I made it against all odds. The big message I received was that I have it me to succeed and I am three feet away from my breakthrough. Another lesson that popped out that I thought was ironic was - don't make any decisions when your in your valley. Funny!

Here is the trailer if you are curious to know where I went: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oACS8wTKTAA

Thanks for reading'
Millie

After all was said and done...I go back to basics!

Today I reflected on my previous postings, and to tell you the truth, I had a more of a delightful time reading my episodes of good deeds more than anything else. So going back to my previous intentions, let me tell you about my current random act of kindness.

In light of my dad's passing my mother has been scared to stay home alone by herself. Call it fear of ghost or whatever you want but she does not want to be alone. Completely understandable. However, if you read my previous posting, I too am grieving for more than one reasons. But as her daughter, I have to put that aside and make sure that my mom is ok.

Looking forward to a peaceful evening in a lonely bedroom to sulk in my own pathetic sorrow, I give that up to make sure my mother is not alone and make ready to spend the night at her house (keeping in mind that I just got done hosting my relatives in my house for a whole week). I felt like screaming to the top of my lungs to leave me alone, I need time to mourn. Ahhh!

Well, here's what I'm concluding to, I've been looking forward to a breakdown that isn't coming, looking forward to a melt down, but for some reason, I'm doing pretty well. Could it be that I'm not the same person as I use to be and I'm sitting here expecting the worse and the worse that I use to know isn't anymore..if that makes any sense.

Maybe the same girl that use to handle these is better equipped to handle these situations and I just didn't know it. I sat here waiting for the worst "me" to take over but low and behold, I'm ok.


So, if that is true, then thank you Lord for preparing me for such occasions. Please, don't misunderstand, I am very much heart broken, but I think I'm a little bit more mature than I use to be. I was more afraid of dealing with the pain than the pain itself. Like riding a roller coaster...afraid of the ride but once you're in it, you realize it's not so bad.


Huh!? Interesting!

Thank you for reading,
Millie

Delightfully Surprising

Last night I met with a well known potential client and our meeting lasted 8 hours! That's a very long meeting but it didn't seem that long. Actually, I made the error of not doing my research before going into the appointment, which is a big no, no in any business. And because of that I didn't really know what to expect. All I knew was that she was in the entertainment industry. Ok, that's fine....let's see what we can do.

Well, let me just say, she was amazing and her family was just as welcoming. Her personality was refreshingly authentic and there is a strong and alluring presence about her. She is extremely talented and it shows up in everything that she does. Talk about a great work ethic; she moves at a hundred miles per hour! Next to her, I had to take a double look at my work attitude. =) In retrospect, maybe it was a good thing that I didn't know who she was because it kept me from being star struck! lol!

Anyway, the lesson I got from it is to keep an open mind, don't have any expectations and don't walk in to any situation with pre-judgments because they just might delightfully surprise you. Still do your research, but keep your judgments at home!

Oh, and we are going to work with her. Yay! =D

Thanks for reading!
Millie

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Time Managment

First of all, I would like to apologize to my readers for the direction my blog has taken. It started off as a great idea to challenge myself to random acts of kindness and now it has become a personal outlet for me to record my life's endeavors and personal development. With your permission, I would like to continue to do so. Writing really helps me clear my thoughts and gives me direction. I will continue to design this blog to inspire and motivate....Which leaves me with the question, do I change the title? What do you think?

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Time Management

I've learned that in most business ventures, plan A rarely ever work! So you got to move on to plan B, C & D. I can say this with my own personal experience and also after interviewing a couple of people who have walked this path before me. Excited and refreshed, it’s time to get back to work....and my to-do list is long!

The biggest challenge for me is time management, it always has been. Good news is I've come to terms with it and I'm a step closer in getting that under control. There's a big misconception that when you are the boss, or have your own business, it's easier because you get to do what you want....ummmm....that's a big NO! No because the only pull you have to motivate yourself to complete your tasks at the end of the day, is you! You, you, you and you!!!! It's all you! Every minute, every hour, everyday! And if you don't, you don't eat. Simple as that. And with 2 teenagers to feed, it’s a lot of pressure.

Isn't this true for all tasks? I tend to do better when I have a plan. I personally believe that keeping a well balanced life is important. So I compartmentalize. When I'm with my kids - I'm a mother; when I'm with my family - I'm with my family; with my friends - I'm having a blast; and when working - I get to put on my working hat. It's one big juggling act!

It is important to remind myself that the task at hand is not bigger than me; I am bigger than it. God wouldn't put me in this path otherwise. And yes, a lot of times it seems overwhelming, but that's all just in my head. One day at a time...one step at a time.

All the best,
Millie

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The cooooolest thing ever!!!!

There are certain events, places, people that really get to me in a feel good way and this was definitely one of them! And I get to share it with you. I won't spoil it, so you'll just have to watch it below. But please do tell me what you got out of it after.

Happy watching!
Millie

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I can feel a breakthrough coming!

I found a clearing in my jungle of confusing and foggy thoughts and I can feel a breakthrough coming. The air is clear and refreshingly new. There's fuel in my gas tank again and I feel rejuvenated!

I went back to read my last posting and it dawned on me that I have cried and held on to my - I'm stuck story - long enough! I don't want to be that girl! God has really used this blog and my new friends here as an outlet for me to redefine my direction. Looking back at events that led me here, I am in awe of His organizing power. And we never quite see it until later. I guess that's when you've got to have a little faith!

It all started when my dear friend dropped a book on my lap entitle "Social Media Bible". He said you need to read this! Yeah right! A book containing 800 pages! He's crazy! But because I have complete trust in the man, I opened it and started to read it! And boy was he right. I was captivated immediately! (By the way, on page 223.)

The book contains chapters on Blogging and referred me to this web site and 100's of others. I choose this because it has the largest blogging network (222 million users). Yup! Hard to believe right!?

As a social experiment, I started to blog! And let me tell you, it's not easy but I'm glad I did. I've stepped out of my comfort zone in more ways than one and if you're a blogger, you understand. I'm stretching and growing!

So thank you God, my new community, my friend for the book and for those who have supported me.

Let the journey begin! Ha, ha!

Excited,
Millie

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Mental Block

Starting your own business is like writing a blog for the very first time! At first, you are excited; you envision the best case scenario having thousands of readers accepting your ideas. You put in a lot of work to be met with the harsh reality that it's not as easy as you thought it would be. Persistence, determination and flexibility are keys to succeeding in both arenas.

By now I'm sure you know that I started my own business earlier this year. I ventured off on my own providing my field of expertise. It was the next logical step in my career especially if it was me who nursed broken companies into producing machines! It's what I've always done and I'm good at it. I found my courage pulling from the circle of friends/colleagues around me that are successful entrepreneurs.

Initially in building my company, there was a lot of excitement and movement in the air. It's all I thought about all day and night. I worked my butt off! But like a blog, just because you build it, doesn't mean they'll come. Let me tell you, I hit my wall and by the 5th month, I was exhausted! I didn't even want to think about my company! I've never climbed a mountain as big as this and I'm overwhelmed and my feet are getting tired.

My inner warrior would never let me give up but my mind was beating me up for the lack of progress. For the first time in my life I started to doubt my abilities; were all my successes an illusion. Maybe I'm not as talented as I thought I was. It was heart breaking.

I knew that I needed to step back. I needed to get clear, get rid of my negative emotions/thoughts and give myself permission to be kind to myself. Sometimes, things may not go as planned, but just like your blog, you can't give up either. You'll have to listen to what your audience is telling you, flexible with the changing times and determined to get to your end result. Along the way, you'll learn many things about yourself, and when you get there it will be the greatest reward! The money will be icing on the cake! =)

Much love,
Millie

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Rude vs. Polite?

Have you ever noticed that when it's your own mess, you don't mind it so much? But when the mess belongs to someone else, it rubs us the wrong way? Whether it's a dirty glass on counter top or driving etiquette; it's seems worse when someone else is doing the do. What if our initial thought that angers us isn't right?

I was driving down to San Diego and I thought about how people get so upset on the road (and no, I wasn't driving madly). It was spurred by a recent conversation I had on the matter of personal pet peeves and an Oprah show I recently watch entitled "how rude are you". Let me ask you, do you get upset when you signal to change lanes, and the car next to you automatically speeds up? If not, that's cool, but if so, why do you get upset? Do you get upset because you think that he/she speeds up for pure selfish reasons and doesn't want you to get in front of him/her? Could be...

That answer may be true; yes they could be selfish but could it also be that the person is trying to be polite by giving you space behind him/her? It's similar to when someone opens the door for you or when you are crossing the street and a car is waiting for you to cross. You know that someone is waiting for you so you walk a little faster because someone is holding the door open, waiting for you to cross the street or speed up because someone wants to change lanes.

My point is, maybe that person isn't as rude as we think they are. I can't tell you the answer because I don't know what the other person is thinking. But I can tell you that I won't let it ruin my driving experience...anymore anyways.

What are your thoughts?

Just a thought,
Millie

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You get what you put out!

Ever since I've given myself permission to be more open without attachments/judgments, good things happen.

Last week, my mother and I went to Glen Ivy, a day spa out in Corona. I was drinking wine the night before so I wasn't feeling great that morning...I almost cancelled. We purposely arrived at 2pm to take advantage of the 1/2 price admission, a difference of $19 (a lot of money). Looking forward to a relaxing afternoon, they gave us the bad news that we arrived too early, we'll have to pay full price. During the summer season, the 1/2 price entrance is at 3pm not 2pm. Why didn't anyone tell us? We had no clue! We pleaded to let us in because an hour wait is a long time, especially when they don't have a waiting area. The answer was a hard No! You could imagine the kind of day I was having and the 90 degrees weather was not helping either. I was very disappointed and could have literally stormed out of there but that would mean about an hour drive home and I'd miss out on the spa...ummm, I'll wait patiently and make the most of it.

I decided to put it behind me and just enjoy the rest of the afternoon with mommy and I'm glad I did. The spa was exactly what I needed. The best part was when we met an interesting couple who lives out in Topanga Canyon. My mom decided to invite them to dinner and they willingly accepted...to my surprise. They had the most interesting stories about their work, England, plane riding, mountain biking..and so on. The wife is a professional mountain biker and the husband works in the entertainment industry - special effects. How interesting is that!?

After our dinner with them, it inspired me to plan a day hiking in Topanga Canyon. Inspiration can come in many differnt forms and I'm glad I didn't let a bad experience steal that away from me. All I had to do was remain open and say yes.

Until next time,
Millie

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Old International Grunter

There is this old, harmless, international man who likes to smoke outside his balcony who lives across my courtyard. He often sits there quietly smoking or sometimes I pass him while he is getting in/out of his car.

A couple of months ago, I decided to say hello (after-all he is my neighbor) and he just ignored me. Oh well, maybe he didn’t see …no big deal. So then the next time I saw him, I waived hello again. His reply…nothing! What is his problem? How difficult is it to acknowledge someone or just say hello back?

Time after time, every time I saw him, I made it a point to waive or say hello. Time after time, he just ignores me. I’d hate to admit it, but it became an obsession. I was determined to keep saying hello until I get a response. After maybe a month of attempts, the grumpy old international man finally acknowledges my hello and responded with a grunt. Lol! Yes a grunt! A grunt was better that nothing and at that point, I was ok with that. I figured people like their space.

Imagine how shocked I was when I saw him at my gym. He was dressed in those old red cotton sweatpants and matching sweater that you would find in a swap meet. He had a towel wrapped around his neck and wearing a pair of sun glasses inside the gym (classic). It was adorable because you know he simply did not care about his appearance. The best part – while I was running on the treadmill, he purposely came about 10 feet of me, stood there and stared at me. I looked at him and he waived hello! Shocked and a little bit confused, I waived back! How wonderful! Out of all the places and with all the people, my grumpy old international grunter FINALLY waived hello! I couldn’t help but think - victory is mine! Lol! And get this; he did the same thing before he left the gym! How cute!

I felt so good, he definitely made my day! I guess persistence do pay off!

Amazed,
Millie

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First Impressions are Overrated

I ran out of my homemade instant coffee (yes instant coffee) one morning and decided to go to Starbucks to get my emergency quick fix. Just a medium coffee in a large cup please; I like my coffee with a lot of milk and no sugar. As I stood in line I noticed a man across the way waiting but it was just a quick glance, no big deal. However, have you ever felt that feeling that someone was watching you? That's exactly what I was feeling.

I got my coffee and walked to the milk stand where he was standing. He then nervously said hello, gave me a sincere - I think your beautiful - compliment followed by a nervous apology. All this was in one sentence with a bit of nervous chuckle in between the words. Did I say he was nervous!? I found it very endearing but the problem is I wasn't that attracted to him. He looked like he just woke up and didn't even bother to look at himself in the mirror. But who am I kidding, I’m 32 years old, single mother of 2 and compliments don’t come by very often anymore. I appreciate it when it does.

Anyway, I think it is extremely difficult to do what he did as nervous as he was. Good for him for having the courage. He had a lot more courage than I ever had. I didn't want to be that bit@## (excuse my French) that discourages his future attempts. What to do, what to do?

Well, I gave him my number because at the moment, I didn't know how to respond. A couple of days later, I decided to return his call to let him down easy. To let him know sincerely that I thought he was very sweet and wish him luck. Come to know it, I had a very pleasant conversation with him. He turned out to be smart, endearing and refreshing. We talked about his start-up business that he's been working on for the past 2 years. I've been working on mine for the past 5 months so I can totally relate. I guess you really can't judge a person by the first impression. You never know, I might just have found a really good friend. Or what he said "you might have found a person you can speak business with." Lol! Ok.

With a smile on my face,
Millie

Dirty Towel

I am what you call the yo-yo gym goer. On the times when I am motivated, you'll find me at the gym pretty regularly immediately followed by the long silent no-go, no-show.

Well today I decided to make an appearance. Though I kept it pretty easy (honestly, I was just feeling tired and lazy), I still manage to work out a good sweat. On my way out, a towel landed about 4 steps ahead of me. The towel belonged to a woman jogging diligently on the tread mill. Which brought on the dreadful choice; do I ignore the dirty towel, walk by and pretend I don't even see it or do I do a good deed?

Ok, before this exercise, that's what I probably would have done. I mean common, a dirty towel! Really! It's dirty and sweaty and personal. Ay!!! But I decided to put myself in her shoes. When I'm in my running zone, I don't like to stop because it takes away from my momentum. And I would like it if someone picked it up for me.

I got over myself, picked it up and gave it to her. To see the grateful smile on her face was definitely worth it. When in doubt, focus out! Besides, I wasn't any cleaner than the dirty towel anyway; I myself just got done with my workout. I'm not one to judge the dirty towel.


Good night!

Millie

The Good the Bad and the Ugly!

Although I did my good deed for the day, I would rather mention the good deed that was done for me today by my sister. I will call her Erica to protect her Identity. To me this is worth mentioning more than anything that happened to me today. Let me explain...

This blog site has a tool for you to utilize the social networking sites to expand your visibility. Which is great because I am using this exercise to be more open. However, as I've mentioned before, I like my privacy. It took me a while to convince myself to use my real picture. As I esperimented with the links to post my site up, I cliked on Facebook. As I clicked away, it automatically posted my blog on Facebook. When it did that, I freaked out and jumped out of my bed! I thought, Oh no, now everyone will know! I automatically wanted to take it back down. I am too exposed to my friends and family, I thought. It's okay for me to discusss this with strangers with a unknown name but not my close people. I immediately called my sister because I need a calming voice. In the back of my mind, I knew that I had to learn how to be ok with this. What came out for me is that I don't like being in a position where I can be judge by the people I care for most. You see. I was the black sheep of the family, the one that like to live on the edge and pushed my limits. My goodness, I remember all of the adults talking about how difficult I was. Well, I am now 32 years old still working on proving to them that I am a good person with good intentions. I realize now I really need to stop that and I am working on it. I am not bad but inherantly good! I do have a moral compass, I just have to get rid of those self defeating beliefs that stuck with me growing up!

The reason why I want to mention this as a good deed is because when I freaked out when my blog posted on Facebook for all my family and friends to see, I called my sister instead. Because I know she understands me. She saw me through the bad and the good. She was shocked to hear of my anxiety and she reassured me. I love her for being there for me. Sometimes we take people who are close to us for granted. At the end of the day, they are who matter most. Thank you sis!

And as far as the facebook world is concerned, as freaked out as I was, I'm going to break through! I hope you'll love me even through the good, the bad and the ugly!

With much love,
Millie

Hello World!

My author name for this exercise is Millie River. I have decided to challenge myself to doing 5 good deeds a week (random act of kindness). I have read/heard that if you do one good deed a day, it could literally transform your life. I believe that and I am willing to put it to the test and come back here to report my own personal experiences, people's reactions and my personal transformation through self awareness/discoveries.

This might sound like a simple thing to do but as I thought about it, for me, it will NOT be easy. I like living my life in my own small world where it's comfortable. Right now my life is about me, my kids and my work. I mind my own business and people give me the same respect. Plus it's not easy to find an opportunity to do a good deed everyday. I'll have to look outside of my world and come out of my sheltered box. Yikes! It means meeting new people, talking to strangers, and occasionally act crazy because "kindness" is not common occurance anymore.. unfortunately...or is it?

After I came up with this idea, I spent the past 2 days thinking about the amount of work and anxiety this will take from me. As I went about my day, running errands, I realized how desensitized and oblivious I am to what is going on around me. All of the sudden I was made aware of how my daily thoughts are automatic and I spend a lot time justifying my actions, and focusing on things that doesn't really matter. A couple of times I realized that I'm not even as nice as I thought I was. Interesting what you find out when you stop and notice your thoughts and actions. If just the thought of writing this blog can impact me this way, imagine if I went through this whole exercise in a long period of time!? Well, I'm going for it, hence this first post.

I have to do this because it is what I would rather NOT do. This is outside of my comfort zone. I'm also hoping that blogging my thoughts & emotions will help me be more open in my own personal life. I love my privacy and everything about this exercise is a huge stretch for my personality and will be a learning experience for me. Ultimately, I'm hoping to grow from this experience.

Couple of rules for me:

I have to do 5 good deeds a week Sun. - Sat.
I have to write about my experience and share it with you.

So there it is. I hope you stick around and join me on my journey of self discovery and transformation. We also get to help others along the way. Notice how I am not giving myself a timeline. Well that’s because I’m not sure how long I can keep up with this.

Sleepy and excited,
Millie